You know Christmas is near when...
- The American government starts printing its daily threat of nuclear war on Santa's Workshop letterhead.
- Short actors start getting work in television commercials.
- North Korea starts putting big red bows on its secret shipments of Scud missiles
- The best-selling video game is Blood and Ice: Santa's Revenge.
- Amazon.com sends you its traditional Christmas spam.
- Cherie Blair tearfully announces that Santa received no favours in return for the gifts he gave her.
- Trent Lott pins some mistletoe on his dress sheet.
- You find out that some advertising genius has the notion that, yeah, you can be persuaded to buy everyone you know a palmtop.
- Elf union organizers are expelled from the North Pole.
- People start going crazy after repeated exposure to recordings of "Felíz Navidad".
The Signs of Christmas © Coolth, 2002
Posted December 12. 2002
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