The long overdue passage by the House of Commons of the Kyoto Protocol ensures for Canadians a world of clean air and water. However, one benefit of the Kyoto Protocol which has not been widely discussed is its initiative to establish an environmentally responsible approach to Christmas. So as usual NEW IMPROVED HEAD leads the way by providing this comprehensive list of Kyoto's Christmas-related benefits:
A merry, environmentally responsible Christmas to all.
- A reduction of 100% in emissions of "The Little Drummer Boy".
- Establishment of a worldwide network of tinsel recycling depots.
- Santa (or a designated elf) to stoop and scoop.
- Solar-powered Christmas tree lights.
- Reduction of the number of wise men in Christmas pageants from three to one, plus his environmentally minded sidekick, Mo Ozone.
- Acquisition Certificates to be required for egg nog purchases.
- Annual reduction of the Queen's Christmas message by three platitudes.
- Lumps of coal for naughty children to be replaced by lumps of environmentally friendly natural gas.
- To reduce lighting costs, midnight mass to be said at 11 am.
- Biodegradable Christmas cake!!!
Christmas in Kyoto © Coolth, 2002
Posted December 19. 2002
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