An Environmentally Responsible Valentine's Day
by NIH environmental correspondent, Prunella Strachan-Havergal
If we are to save the planet, we must show respect for it in all aspects of our lives. Here are some ways YOU can both enjoy Valentine’s Day and help protect the environment!
And the number one way to have an environmentally responsible Valentine’s Day:
- You can reduce the number of trees cut down for Valentine’s cards by simply reducing the emotional attachment you feel to other people! The fewer people you love, the fewer trees you’ll need to destroy to tell them that you love them!
- Sexual intercourse is an important source of room heat. Remember to turn that thermometer down a notch beforehand to make sure you’re not wasting non-renewable fuels!
- Instead of gifts of manufactured boxes of manufactured chocolate, show your loved one that you care – not only about him or her, but about the environment, too– by giving special heart-shaped carbon credits!
- Candle-lit dinners are romantic, but the products of combustion remain in the atmosphere. Miner’s helmets produce more light but fewer emissions.
- Recycle – give your spouse the present your lover gave you last year, and vice versa!
- The cultivation of roses by factory farms places considerable strain on the environment (roses also create considerable pricking hazards). Consider giving your sweetheart a type of plant that places less stress on the environment – barley, for example.
- That romantic hot tub session requires huge amounts of heated water. This year, skip the tub and just slap each other with hot washcloths!
- Don't throw out that champagne cork! It can be recycled as a parka fastener, a pincushion, or as...um...something made of cork!
- Compact discs are made from non-renewable materials, and playing them requires electricity. Instead of playing a CD of romantic music, try whistling a romantic medley for your sweetheart!
- Convert to Islam and give the whole damn day a miss!
An Environmentally Responsible Valentine's Day © John FitzGerald, 2008
Click the banner or click here for ACTUAL ANALYSIS
Commentary | Home