Another Artistic Triumph for Toronto
by licensed television critic Farrell Childe
Canada's longest running TV series has just finished its thirty-fifth season. Really, its thirty-fifth. Not as long a run as Coronation Street's, but then the Canadian show is still popular.
The fans adore it. They want the star to get a big raise for next season. They're ecstatic.
The show, of course, is How Will the Leafs Lose This Year?. Every year the fans wonder how their heroes will find a new way to lose, but the heroes never disappoint.
This year's show featured pretty well everything, even some hospital drama. Pat Quinn rose from his hospital bed to make sure the lads didn't feel abandoned as they went down to defeat at the hands of the Carolina Hurricanes (yes, the Carolina Hurricanes – I tell you, every year they think of something new).
Another of this year's themes was the battle back from injury. Of course the Leafs didn't battle back from injury – that would destroy the whole point of the show, eh? – but for a while they looked as if they had a chance to.
In fact, one of the show's greatest achievements is its ability to persuade its audience that this year the Leafs actually are going to win. The chances of this happening are of course slim, given that there are now about a hundred teams in the league. Even the best team can't win every year. This year's Western semifinal had Detroit playing Colorado. Those are really good teams, and one of them had to lose. And the Leafs' number is going to come up a lot more often than Detroit or Colorado's. But they get the fans to suspend disbelief every year.
Now the fans' favourite, Curtis Joseph, having allowed three goals in three overtime games in the semifinal, including the winner in the deciding game, wants a raise. He wants a raise of 32%. And the fans want him to have it.
"He stood on his head," they say. "He kept them in it." That is, he heightened the tension by making it look as if the Leafs were going to make it this year. A goaltender making a paltry four or five million might have lost his four games by blowouts, and who wants to watch that? We want to see the Leafs lose by a goal. It's much more exciting.
Give him the nine million (US).
How does this season rate against the greats? It lacked the astonishment of the Leafs' effort of a few years ago, when in their last game they set a new record for fewest shots in a period in every period. And it failed to involve the fans as much as the famous loss to the Islanders back in the 1970s. That one had most fans confidently predicting that the Leafs wouldn't be able to keep it up. The Leafs, the thinking went, just wouldn't be able to prevent themselves from winning the Cup within a few years. Little did they appreciate what consummate artists the Leafs are.
And consummate artists they are. First of all, being able to pass themselves off every year as contenders is a daunting task, but every year the Leafs do it. For example, I am not denying Curtis Joseph's exceptional skill, but there are a couple of fellows in the game named Hasek and Roy (not to mention another fellow named Irbe). Nevertheless, the Leafs manage to persuade their audience every year that Mr. Joseph is the greatest goaltender in hockey. Of course, before Mr. Joseph came to Toronto he wasn't the greatest goaltender in hockey, Félix Potvin was.
In general, how many of the current members of the Detroit Red Wings or Colorado Avalanche do you think will end up in the Hall of Fame, and how many of the current Leafs? That's right. Those other teams start out with huge advantages. They're the teams you would think Toronto fans would pick as the likely Cup winners. But no. Every year the Leafs' artistry is so great that they are the ones who don the mantle of the legitimate claimants.
The other teams are missing the boat here. Their seasons are presented as conventional sagas of athletic competition. They actually win important games. To the artist, such philistinism is unthinkable.
The far greater artistry consists in getting people to adore you even though you never win. The Leafs have no equal here. The year they managed all of six (6) shots in their final game, the city gave them a parade.
The far greater art consists in arousing people's expectations to overweening heights, thereby exciting fevered emotions, and then slowly combining the fevered expectation of victory with ever greater fear of defeat until you reach an enormous emotional catharsis.
If that sounds familiar, it is. The boys are performing that highest achievement of dramatic art – tragedy. What's more, they perform the same tragedy every year but always make it seem new and fresh.
It's no wonder Toronto is the artistic capital of Canada. We might not know good hockey if it came up and bit us in our flabby theatregoers' asses, but we know great art, and we know great tragedy. And tragedy is what we get. Year after year after year.
Another Artistic Triumph for Toronto © Coolth, 2002
