Four years ago I wrote on this site:

As usual American polling companies have gone into a frenzy during the American presidential campaign. A new poll seems to be released every minute, and the self-appointed augurs of electronic society spend endless hours "analyzing" the results. Can Bush/Gore maintain his lead?, they ask. Can Gore/Bush catch up? Since the answer to all the questions they pose is "Who knows?", the value of this analysis is limited.

We here at the International Centre for the Study of the Zeitgeist (ICSZ) have taken a different approach. Instead of polling the citizenry – a large, variegated group from which it is difficult to draw a representative sample – we have polled the two major candidates for the presidency. We asked them about their hopes, their dreams, their plans. The results give us a much better idea of the choice facing Americans than all those polls of people who are as far as possible from the centres of power.

The results of our 2000 poll were so successful (a margin of error of zero per cent!) that we've done a similar poll this year with the current candidates. The percentages of the sample making each response will be provided with each question. Mr. Kerry's answers have been abridged, while Mr. Bush's have been translated into English.

 1. Who do you think was the greatest American president of the twentieth century?

• Franklin D. Roosevelt (50%)
• Dad (50%)

 2. Who has helped you the most in your political career?

• My wife (50%)
• Dad (50%)

 3. Whose ideas have inspired you the most in your political career?

• JFK's (50%)
• Mom's (50%)

 4. Are you a uniter or a divider?

• Uniter (100%)

 5. How will you restore democracy to Iraq?

• By building a new international coalition (50%)
• By using the international coalition I have already built (50%)

 6. If your coalition approach doesn't work, what will you do?

• Bomb the bastards (100%)

 7. How will you reduce the deficit?

• By ending tax cuts for the rich (50%)
• By cutting taxes even more while continuing to increase government spending. How can I do it? I'm crazy! (50%)

 8. How will you improve American security?

• By directing our efforts against the people who actually threaten our security rather than against someone we thought our father should have done a better job with (50%)
• This time I'm going to try reading those daily briefing things (50%)

 9. What is your position on public health insurance?

• I'm for it (50%)
• I'm honest (50%)

10. What will your priorities be in foreign relations?

• Creating a renewed and deserved respect for America among the international community of nations (50%)
• Maintaining the old and deserved fear of America among the international community of nations – if it ain't broke, don't fix it (50%)

These results are accurate within plus or minus 0% (zero per cent) one hundred per cent of the time.

October 6, 2004

The New Improved Presidential Poll for 2004 © John FitzGerald, 2000, 2004

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