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Academy Award Predictions 2003
a NEW IMPROVED HEAD special report

The Academy Awards are imminent, and as usual none of the staff here have seen any of the movies up for awards (the Freelton Legion tends to show old Jackie Chan and Fu Sheng movies in the beverage room). However, as usual that doesn't stop us from predicting the winners. So here are our predictions:

  • Best performance in a supporting role, male: Tony Blair

  • Best performance in a subservient role, male: Tony Blair

  • Best makeup: Tony Blair

  • Best costumes, drama: Saddam Hussein

  • Best special effects: Colin Powell, for Pictures of What Might Seem to the Untrained Eye to be Trucks but Which in Fact are Weapons of Mass Destruction, I Swear

  • Best foreign film: Juste Disons Non, France

  • Best script: Ari Fleischer, for George W. Bush's Press Conference, March 6, 2003

  • Best performance in a bootlicking role, male: Tony Blair

  • Best theme song: Saddam Hussein, for "Hit Me, Baby, One More Time"

    And now, the one you've all been waiting for:

  • Best film: the United States, for Plan 9 from Outer Space

Posted March 13, 2003

Academy Award Predictions 2003 © Coolth, 2003

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