Naked Lunch Break
by modern living editor Jason Capodimonte
I don't need no food.
I'll just step in here for a bit. I'm not going to buy any stuff. They don't have the good stuff. Especially not in the music section.
See – the jazz section goes from John McLaughlin to Carmen McRae. They don't have the good stuff. I can't get in trouble here.
I'm a weekend jazz user these days – really. On the weekends I chill out, listen to a little music, I read a little, but during the week I'm straight as an arrow. My life is devoted to productive work in the service of the community. Cut me some slack.
They have the Stanley Brothers, but they don't have a single CD with "Rank Strangers" on it. They don't have the good shit. I told you.
It's Oscar Peterson, for crying out loud! You can't complain if I buy a little Oscar Peterson. Oscar Peterson is a musical giant, and he's Canadian. It's even a Canadian performance. Anything Canadians do is well-meaning and wholesome, you know that. Anything Oscar does is good, I know that. I really know that.
I'm going to take this Muddy Waters from the delete bin, too. A little blues can't hurt. It's not a gateway drug for jazz, either. It's like methadone. You take it instead of jazz and you don't get withdrawal symptoms. Really. There's research.
I might as well go upstairs and have a quick look at the books. Don't worry, I'm not going to buy anything. I just want to look at the books, man. This looks interesting. Collected poems of Philip Larkin. There's a man who, unlike most poets, had the decency only to publish his good stuff, but now they've packaged the good stuff with all the stuff he didn't publish as well. That'll be safe. The bad stuff will counteract the effect of the good stuff. I won't be going on any runs with this book, so I might as well take it.
That should hold me. Let's get out of here.
Thirty bucks it costs. I got thirty bucks. I got twenty for Oscar and eight for Muddy. I got the tax. You think I'm a punk? No, I don't have a discount card, I don't have the time for no discount card. Just put it in a bag, man. Where's the quickest way out?
I don't need no food.
Posted February 20, 2003
Naked Lunch Break © Coolth, 2003
Click the banner or click here for Coolth
Commentary | Home