Labour Marketing
by NIH marketing correspondent, Bryce MallowFailure to obey the laws of marketing can have dire consequences. For example, where I live, in Ontario, a large proportion of provincial public service employees have been on strike for the last three weeks. The union's failure to follow elementary rules of marketing has meant that they are exerting little pressure on the government to bargain, and their failure is unnecessarily prolonging the strike.
For example, unions in general have been slow to take advantage of corporate renaming. Taking a new corporate name is essentially a renewal. It erases all negative connotations of the old name, while the new name, if properly chosen, takes on positive connotations. I'm sure the employees of Accenture are very happy these days that they no longer share the name of their parent company, Arthur Andersen.
The Ontario union has the added disadvantage that its name is quite a mouthful, so that it has become known by its acronym, OPSEU (pronounced "Op Sue"). Obviously, "sue" has negative connotations these days. OPSEU would be much better served by an elegant, innovative name such as Servicia (Publica, of course, would be too close to Pubica). Servicia is a crisp, pleasant sounding name with positive connotations.
Unions also have failed to appoint attractive full time spokespersons to promote their cause with the public. Communication with the public is handled by the president, who obviously has other things to do as well and cannot reasonably be expected to make the impression the public is looking for.
And what impression is the public looking for? The FitzGerald Theory of Canadian leadership holds that Canadians prefer leaders who are a) middle aged, b) white, c) male, d) deep-voiced, and e) wearing a nice suit. As evidence, FitzGerald makes the following observations about Canadian politicians:
Mike Harris has a deep voice, nicer suits, and a more middle-aged appearance than Dalton McWimpy. Brian Mulroney's deep voice and sleek suits won huge majorities; his successor Kim Campbell's high voice and general femininity led to a crushing defeat. Lucien Bouchard has a deeper voice and better suits than Jacques Parizeau (the latter being quite an achievement, Messrs Bouchard and Parizeau being the best-dressed men in Canadian politics). Only this week the pale Gordon Campbell won a massive landslide victory over the swarthy Ujjal Dosanjh. If the Tories could find a decent tailor for Joe Clark, he'd be prime minister for life.
(NEW IMPROVED HEAD, May 2001)Subsequent events have confirmed the FitzGerald Theory. For example, only a few weeks ago the leadership of the governing party in Ontario was won by the only candidate who fit the FitzGerald Profile. And Joe Clark has not found a decent tailor and continues to flounder.
Once Servicia has appointed a white, middle-aged, deep-voiced well-dressed male spokesperson, it must turn its attention to the rank and file. Like most Ontarians I've seen many OPSEU picket lines over the last few weeks and all I can say is, it's been done, people! The Sixties are over! Looking like a civil rights demonstration doesn't impress anyone any more, especially as most people haven't the slightest idea what civil rights are!
Ye gods. One of the picket lines I saw even had a picketer strumming a guitar as she plodded around. You know, nobody knows what a hootenanny is any more, either. All these references to the a forgotten era can be summed up in two words: bad marketing.
Unions must move with the times. People no longer express their concern by massing together to communicate their rage. Instead they say it with flowers.
Torontonians expressed their concern about the murders of thousands of people at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon by dropping off bouquets at the American consulate. The death of the Princess of Wales created a worldwide shortage of flowers. Saying it with flowers is all much more tasteful than a display of what people today consider most unseemly: values.
So instead of placards and signs, picketers should carry flowers, which they deposit at the entrance to their workplaces. Instead of physically blocking entrance to their workplaces (the flowers will do that), they should form a receiving line to accept the condolences of the public, who, without the obvious cues of picket signs to tip them off to the presence of strikers, will naturally want to express their sympathy. The strikers can then express their grief at the loss of their incomes.
Picketers must also dress appropriately. The accepted standard for picket line dress these days appears to be casual wear. This is simply not on.
We admire rich people. We believe wealth is a sign of worth, and that poverty is a sign of laziness and criminality. Although our knowledge of the New Testament is probably at an all-time low, we devoutly believe that to them that hath shall be given and from them that hath not shall be taken away. There is nothing that will cheer up a Canadian more than denying someone welfare benefits.
So picketers must dress as if they deserve the money they are asking for. A sombre receiving line of men in well-cut suits and women in well-cut dresses establishes the essential similarity of the strikers and their employers. If the employers make a lot of money, citizens will reason, why shouldn't people just like them make a lot of money, too?
My recommendations will horrify many in the labour movement, but then it's time to get rid of that term as well (service community would be far better). Labour has lost too many battles over the last quarter of a century for adherence to the old, ineffectual ways to be taken seriously as an alternative. If labour does not rebrand today, it will have to disband tomorrow.
Labour Marketing © Coolth, 2002
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