I Predict
by modern living editor Jason Capodimonte
Many of us straight single middle-aged (okay, nearly old) men buy our own underwear. If current trends in underwear retailing continue, though, I predict we're going to stop wearing underwear altogether.
Have you seen the men's underwear sections of department stores lately? They are plastered with photographs of buffed young men wearing only underwear and thrusting either their buttocks or their primary genitalia at the camera .
When I go shopping for underwear, I don't want to look at pictures of men in their underwear. I was going to say that if I could have what I wanted when I was shopping for underwear I would prefer to look at pictures of women in their underwear, but of course I realize that saying that would probably constitute sexual harassment under some section of the Ontario Human Rights Code and I'm disgusted with myself for even thinking of mentioning it and I think I'll enrol for some more gender equity training as soon as I finish this article.
They could tone the pictures down a bit, though, eh? The problem is that our new society devoted to diversity really isn't. The retailers design their displays to appeal to the groups they think constitute the bulk of their buyers – married women and gay men.
I suppose, though, we should be grateful for that. Even with the pictures the surroundings are superior to what we would get if they were designed for straight men. In general, the larger the percentage heterosexual men are assumed to constitute of any clientele, the less care is put into the accommodation of said clientele.
For example, if you've ever longed for a mystical experience, all you have to do is visit the men's washroom in a pool hall. You won't get any better vision of hell than that.
The local race track got an overhaul, too, once the newly installed slot machines started attracting women to the track.
I think, though, I'm going to start buying underwear online – if I can find a site that doesn't have beefcake.
I Predict © Coolth, 2002
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