What I Have Learned
by Hope Candyfloss, popular futures expert and licensed macrame therapist
Gosh, hasn’t the World Wide Web really changed our lives? Of course, change takes place gradually, and we get used to it quickly, so we forget how things used to be. I thought I’d jog your memories of how your life used to be different by recording here a few of the things I have learned through the World Wide Web:
- there may still be no free lunch, but there is plenty of free porn.
- entertainers never retire; they get websites.
- the more anyone knows about computers, the nearer the probability of his describing himself online as a libertarian approaches one.
- as the size of a company increases, the nearer the probability of its being able to make a profit off its website approaches zero.
- you are probably a member of the “fetish community.”
- bad discussion-board participants drive out good.
- if it exists, someone somewhere wants to sell you one.
- if it exists, someone somewhere is sexually aroused by it.
- Microsoft is watching you.
- everyone else is watching porn.
Related article What I Have Learned © John FitzGerald, 2007
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