How You Didn't Need to Think in 2004!
an NIH special report
As we noted last year, our mission statement here at NEW IMPROVED HEAD is "No need to think any more...here's your NEW IMPROVED HEAD!" We believe that once again in 2004 we outdid ourselves in relieving YOU, our readers, of the need to exercise your critical and analystical faculties, thereby freeing your time for important things like watching Canadian Idol.
Here's a partial list – a partial list! – of important issues YOU didn't need to think about in 2004, thanks to NEW IMPROVED HEAD! If you've slipped and started to think about some of these issues, simply click on the approriate link and avoid all that wasteful intellectual effort!
- why the Information Age is over.
- the curious relationship between Don Cherry, the war in Iraq, and Janet Jackson's breast.
- how Belinda Stronach hasn't got that democracy thing worked out yet.
- a sheaf of articles from the distinguished NETWIT group about deficit hysteria, why technology can't beat oil, the corporate campaigns to make public goods provate and private interests public, the truth about the blackout, and much, much more!
- penetrating political discussions of stochastocracy, advertocracy, and KrispyKremocracy.
- why the NHL doesn't like scoring.
- the twisted course of the Information Superhighway.
- the wisdom of the aged.
- The Passion of the Christ.
- the secrets of success.
- the Gospel according to Oprah.
- the true meaning of sport.
- how you know if you're old.
- the decadence of the young.
- inner politics.
- how to pick a Canadian political party to vote for.
- is Douglas Coupland necessary?
- how the Olympic Games have adapted to changing times.
- how to get more Olympic medals for Canada.
- John Mortimer's serial autobiography.
- five lives in the bebop business – review of Oscar Peterson's autobiography and A. B, Spellman's classic Four Lives in the Bebop Business.
- ten things you can do with a dead NHL.
- an exclusive excerpt from Bill Clinton's autobiography.
- the best poll about the American presidential election.
- Ambrose Bierce on the 2004 American presidential election.
- what the American presidential election meant to our team of experts.
- the secret of American presidential politics.
- why George W. Bush won.
- why disaffected Democrats decided not to come to Canada after all.
- what's wrong/right with the CBC.
- a White House Christmas
- Santa/Satan, what's the difference?
- how to put Christianity back into Christmas
NEW IMPROVED HEAD – for all your thinking needs!
How You Didn't Need to Think in 2004! © Coolth, 2005
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