Happy, Healthy...and Holy!
by S. Cosburn Mortimer,
research director of the Bankers' Alliance for Responsible Freedom
September 6, 2006
Despite innovative proposals from the private sector, Canadian health care remains in crisis. Waits for service are long, and fewer services are available. Canadians fear that as lifespan increases and baby boomers get older the health care system may collapse.
Times indeed seem bad for Canadian health care. Here at the Bankers' Alliance for Responsible Freedom, though, we believe that the problem is a fixation on the approaches which have been applied in the past, and particularly a belief that the approaches which have produced the current crisis will somehow magically start eliminating it if we just try harder!
At the Bankers' Alliance we think it is time, now more than ever, to think outside the box. Accordingly we held an emergency three-day conference, Breaking Through the Box: Don't Hop the Hurdles to Health Care, Go Around Them! As a result of the commitment to innovative thinking typical of this nation's banking community, the seminar came up with an action plan which will:
Is that good enough for you, friends! Would that snap you out of your dread of the future of Canadian health care and set you happily humming down the road to a healthy, happy, and productive Canada?
- increase survival rates!
- reduce recovery time!
- reduce hospitalization!
- reduce use of prescription drugs!
- and slash costs to the bone!
Of course it would. Any sane Canadian would act immediately to take advantage of such an opportunity!
What we at the Bankers' Alliance propose may at first sound like other proposals you have heard – we propose that the health care system take advantage of non-traditional treatment. But no, friends, we're not talking about homeopathy, we're not talking about naturopathy, and we most emphatically are not talking about having aging hippies in Birkenstocks going around urging you to hold crystals and think good thoughts.
Instead we are proposing that the Canadian health care system employ a type of treatment which is widely practised today – with the blessing of government! It is a prominent feature of Canadian television, with at least two channels dedicated to it! Its practitioners draw enormous throngs of patients when they conduct their travelling clinics! I am talking of course of faith-based therapy.
Faith-based practitioners, commonly known as faith healers, have a wide following, as you would expect of people who cure people instantaneously without drugs, surgery, hospitalization, or lengthy recovery. I mean, they get people to get up and walk right away! A conventional hip replacement requires lengthy rehabilitation, but faith-based therapy requires none at all!
The Canadian government apparently approves of faith-based therapy, since it allows it to be broadcast and allows its practitioners to solicit compensation for it. The compensation requested is modest compared to the costs of conventional treatment of the same ailments. But the government doesn't give it a place in the health care system!
Just imagine: the recovery rate from cancer – 100%! Recovery time from arthritis – zero seconds! Prescription costs for dealing with those migraines – zero dollars!
And tou know, friends, one of the most distinguished faith-based practitioners is a Canadian – Benny Hinn, already discussed in another article here. What the Bankers' Alliance proposes is that the government put the Reverend Mr. Hinn in charge of the health care system. He would establish a national system of touring clinics at which faith-based therapists visited municipalities and cured everyone who showed up. A small portion of the money saved from reduced expenses on drugs, hospitalization, and medical equipment would be sufficient to provide transportation for those unable to get to the clinics by their own means.
But, some will object, these cures, especially the Reverend Mr. Hinn's, are available only to Christian believers. They would be ineffective for unbelievers and for practitioners of other religions, who constitute a large proportion of the Canadian population.
Friends, once they have observed the speed and thoroughness of faith-based cures, that proportion of the population is going to shrink to zero! The only reason it's greater than zero now is apparently that they don't, for understandable reasons, watch Christian television. if they did, though, they'd see how effective faith healing is. It must be – because the government lets them say it is!
Finally, a further advantage of this transformation of the Canadian health care system would be that everyone would be SAVED! This alone would reduce psychological disorders such as depression, as Canadians stop worrying about the future and start moving forward confidently to take their place in paradise!
So sick people of Canada, unite! You have nothing to lose but your sins!
For more articles by S. Cosburn Mortimer, click the Comment link below. Happy, Healthy...and Holy! © Coolth, 2006
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