A Tale of Two Torontos
by NIH travel editor, Deon Scant
A few years ago Toronto was artificially inflated to take up the entire space between Pickering and Mississauga. Toronto was supposed to become as a result of this inflation a single city, but as always it remains two.
East and West Toronto are in many ways like two countries. Their residents rarely penetrate more deeply into the other city than a few blocks beyond Yonge Street, Toronto's official main drag and the boundary between East and West Toronto. So both for Torontonians and for those of you out-of-towners who may be visiting Toronto, here is a list of important characteristics of the eastern and western versions of the city.
1. The sights are in West Toronto. Thanks to amalgamation East Toronto now has two tourist sights, the zoo and the Science Centre, but everything else - the Eaton Centre, the CN Tower, Skydome, the Art Gallery of Ontario, the Royal Ontario Museum, the trendy bars and clubs and on and on - are in the west. And the Leafs moved from the East to play in the West, which is also where the Jays and Raptors and Argos play. And since Greenwood shut down, the only race track is in the west, too.2. The universities are in West Toronto. Their outposts are in East Toronto.
3. Because they travel to the other half of their city so rarely, East and West Torontonians have stereotypical views of each other. East Torontonians think of West Toronto as a teeming slum full of gangsters, while West Torontonians think of East Toronto as a teeming slum full of welfare bums who spend their time taking cabs to and from the beer store.
4. East Toronto has the best fish and chips, mezathakia, and tandoori. West Toronto has the best veal sandwiches, pastrami, pizza, and churrasco. The best coffee, too. The honours for Chinese and West Indian cuisine are divided, but on balance West Toronto probably comes out ahead.
5. The national sport of East Toronto is snooker. The national sport of West Toronto is gettone.
6. East Toronto has beaches. West Toronto has the Exhibition and Ontario Place and Harbourfront.
7. East Torontonians think that West Torontonians think that East Torontonians are stuck up. In fact, West Torontonians rarely think about East Torontonians.
In further fact, it's only as a result of compiling this list and actually having to think about East Toronto that I've realized that East Toronto is desperately in need of development. It has no tourist sights, no universities, precious little of anything except what valiant immigrants struggling with small capital have managed to create. What little major development it has is disappearing - literally. For example, Leaside's big industrial section off Laird Drive south of Eglinton is turning into big box stores and row houses.
This is not right. Action is urgently needed. I propose that West Torontonians fund an expedition to settle East Toronto. In a few generations the infusion of dynamic West Toronto cultural traits into East Toronto would transform what is now one of Canada's vast barren lands into a hive of industry and commerce much like West Toronto!
What about it, West Toronto? East Toronto needs YOU! We will undertake this work not for ourselves, but for civilization.
A Tale of Two Torontos © John FitzGerald, 2000, 2004
Click the banner or click here for Coolth
Travel section | Home