Why the Chips are Down
by Maureen Shammock, Department of Cultural Studies,
Greater Freelton Area College of Applied Arts and Technology
Jared Diamond's Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies was published in 1997, highly praised, and awarded a Pulitzer prize. Its argument that some societies spread at the expense of others because of advantages in population density, adaptability of crops, and resistance to infection appealed to a large segment of the literary public.
However, despite the acclaim for this book, none of its many admirers or of its fewer but ardent detractors have tried to test Diamond's theory. They have dealt with Diamond on his own terms, debating the applicability of his theory to relationships between cultures in conveniently remote New Guinea, or to relations between cultures in historical periods conveniently long past. But just how well does Diamond's theory explain what's happening here and now?
The Department of Cultural Studies at the Greater Freelton Area College of Applied Arts and Technology has recently completed a major study to assess the validity of Diamond's theory in contemporary North America. To test his theory we decided to investigate a cultural phenomenon close to home which has long perplexed Greater Freeltonians.
This phenomenon concerns regional variation in traditional cuisine. Specifically, why the hell are there no chip wagons in Toronto?
What do they know of Ontario, who only Toronto know? If your only experience of Ontario is a visit to Toronto, you are probably unaware of that great Ontario culinary institution, the chip wagon. There are four places in the world to eat great french fries: France, of course; Belgium; the United Kingdom; and at an Ontario chip wagon (and let's face it – in France and Belgium they've never heard of malt vinegar). But in Toronto, home of so much great cuisine, chip wagons are startlingly absent.
Some food wagons downtown sell french fries, but in conjunction with a wide range of other food. Not only are there no chip wagons, but poutine is also next to unavailable. Could Diamond's theory, we wondered, explain the failure of traditional Ontario and Quebec potato-based cuisine to establish itself in Toronto?
Our research team, assisted by a grant from the McCain Foundation, performed an extensive series of observations in Toronto. From these observations we were able to draw conclusions about the value of Diamond's theory.
First of all, we observed a stunning difference, highly relevant to Diamond's analysis, between Toronto and the rest of Ontario. This difference was in population density. We found there to be about 7,000 (seven thousand) people per square mile in Toronto, while in the rest of Ontario there are only about 20 (twenty) per square mile.
According to Diamond, greater population density confers a number of advantages. One is that it permits the rise of more differentiated economies which develop surpluses which can be invested elsewhere. Chip wagon culture exists in areas of low density which are consequently unable to develop the economic structures which would facilitate the penetration of chip wagons into the Toronto economy. Instead, Toronto culinary endeavours spread outward to other parts of Ontario. Tim Horton's spreads throughout the country, Robin's Donuts stops at the Toronto border.
According to Diamond, differences between Toronto and the rest of Ontario in the adaptability of crops should also be important. We established that none of the crops exploited outside Toronto can be grown in Toronto. Our attempts to plant traditional Ontario crops of corn, soybean, and tobacco on open land in Toronto were frustrated by members of the legal and police professions. This prohibition of extra-Torontonian agriculture prevents people from outside Toronto from establishing themselves in Toronto with their chip wagons, and maintains an advantage for Toronto over the rest of Ontario.
Finally, Torontonians seem to enjoy a huge advantage in resistance to infection, another important consideration in Diamond's theory. In part this is due to Toronto's high population density. Exposure to 350 times as many people per square mile means exposure to 350 times as many infections, 350 times the chance to develop immunity to them, and 350 times the chance to become a carrier.
Resistance to infection is also developed through close contact with swine and cattle. You would think that the advantage here would lie with the rest of Ontario, but in fact Toronto keeps its advantage because of all the vermin with which Torontonians live as if with pets.
Take raccoons, for example. Toronto custom allows these vermin to roam freely throughout the city and into people's homes. They may not be exterminated but only trapped and released. Although they are usually nocturnal animals, they are commonly seen foraging unmolested in the middle of the day in Toronto. At first Toronto raccoon policy seemed incomprehensible to us, but of course it is just part of a plan to maintain Toronto's superiority in Ontario by turning Torontonians into immune carriers of animal infections.
So although chip wagons can be imported into Toronto from outside, their operators are still likely to fall victim to the vicious infections carried by their immune customers.
In conclusion, Diamond's theory explained the absence of chip wagons from Toronto extremely well. The next step in our research will be to develop counterstrategies to reduce the advantage Toronto has over the rest of Ontario and promote Toronto-style growth throughout the province.
In our pilot project we hope to encourage all the people of Freelton to move into fifty-storey apartment buildings built extremely close to each other. To improve Freeltonians' resistance to infection, the residents of each apartment will be given a pet miniature pig which they must keep in the apartment. Finally, we will pave the land around the buildings so that crops cannot be grown. This will encourage Freeltonians to develop the skills required to survive in crop-free Toronto.
Surpluses produced by the more differentiated economy which will result from the increase in population density will be invested in the production of chip wagons. Infection-resistant Freeltonians will take these chip wagons to Toronto, and all those sausage carts are going to have a fight on their hands. This time, though, it will be a fair one.
Why the Chips are Down © John FitzGerald, 2000
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