When George W. Bush Hits the Fan
by Jason Capodimonte,
modern living editor, NEW IMPROVED HEAD
July 19, 2006
Some people are offended at George W. Bush's saying shit in a brief conversation he had with Tony Blair at the G8 summit. But as the Scottish authority William Connolly would note, he's probably not only said it before, he's done it as well.
Some of us were more surprised at Mr. Bush's demonstration of a grasp on reality. Yes, if Hezbollah would "stop doing this shit," life would indeed be better. A stunningly obvious observation, but at least he hasn't claimed that Hezbollah has a program to develop weapons of mass destruction.
This principle of stopping the shit can be applied in so many other important aspects of politics and diplomacy. If, for example, George Bush and his advisers didn't have shit for brains, they never would have invaded Iraq. And if Paul Martin and his advisers hadn't bought George Bush's shit they wouldn't have signed on to the misbegotten mission in Afghanistan.
If George Bush hadn't bombed the shit out of Iraqis during his invasion, many more of them would be alive today, and those who are still alive would have running water and electricity.
If Americans hadn't shit themselves after 9/11, they wouldn't have voted for four more years of shit in 2004.
And if George W. Bush's campaign hadn't made up all that lying shit about Al Gore in 2000, Mr. Gore would be president today.
And, much as I hate to say it (and I really hate to say it), I am certain that if it had been Mr. Gore who had the opportunity to discuss the middle east with the prime minister of the United Kingdom, he wouldn't have said something as fatuous as "We got to get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit." Especially if, like Mr. Bush, he had just succeeded in an initiative to reduce Syria's influence on Hezbollah.
Well, I didn't elect George W. Bush. The people who did, though, should have their noses rubbed in his shit until they learn not to fall for that shit again, but that's about as likely to happen as Syria laying down the law with Hezbollah.
Because, as another article here has noted: You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar, but, really, you catch the most flies with shit.
When George W. Bush Hits the Fan © John FitzGerald, 2006
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